Prince of Persia

Reviewed by BELL

Hmmm.... I don't really know where to start.

Definitely a 'leave your brain at the door' film. In fact, you should leave your body at the door also and save yourself the price of the ticket. Then using the money you saved buy a small bottle of vodka, drink it in one, smash the bottle and cut yourself for even THINKING about going to watch this trash.

Aside from the laborious storytelling that I presume is supposed to be an interesting plot it looks quite tasty at times. However I can't help but think an Assassin's Creed movie would kick the sh*t out of Prince of Persia.

Also, does no one else think that despite being set in the time of the Persian Empire, and because of the set location that this film f*cks up on not only time, (which judging by the theme of the entire flick you'd think they'd at least focus on keeping correct), but also messes up geographically as the LEAD CHARACTERS ARE ALL WHITE! Surely they should look just like all the extras in the film... Arabian? Damn, could have at least given Gyllenhaal a tan.

The fact that the Americans terrible attempt at a British accent doesn't help suck you into the magic either, way to go Walt...

Lastly, the dialogue was so poor at times, I could have eaten a dictionary and deposited a better conversation in my toilet... And it WOULD HAVE BEEN FREE!

Still I could have walked out but stayed to watch the whole thing as one thing Prince of Persia preaches is correct, how beautiful Gemma Arterton is... Although I don't know why... She's kind of like a pretty frog, you'd kiss it, but definitely wipe your mouth afterwards.

If you have to go and see this, at least go IMAX. That way when you get bored, (and you will get bored), you can gain some pleasure from crossing your eyes and going dizzy.

Bell - 5/10