Public Enemies

First off, I know this is going to be a highly contraversial post as so many people seemed to love PB at the time of release. Secondly, I get that it's not exactly a new film, but I caught it on DVD-so what? And thirdly, well there isn't a thirdly but numberical lists never sound right without the third point to finish them off.

I'd been really excited about watching this- it had been bigged up by several people, critics seemed to love it, the cast looked terrific and the story looked great. Cocktail of potential greatness anyone?

Unfortunately, I hadn't accounted for Michael Mann's shaky camera moves to preside throughout the whole film. Now, this is where it gets contraversial, because some will say that it adds to the reality/makes you feel like you're there/emphasizes the action element. Well boo you all. It made my eyes get dry just trying to focus on it and the those parts of the film looked like they couldn't afford a proper camera. Cheap was what it looked like.

Apart from feeling like my pupils had run a marathon by the end of the film, I thought it had some real glimmers of potential. Johnny Depp was his usual fantastic (very gorgeous) self, faring well in the kind of slightly dangerous, maverick role as John Dillinger that he's used to by now. Christian Bale was his normal wooden self, but fitting in quite a straight-down-the-line role. But it was Marion Cotillard who shone through as the unexpected pinnacle of brilliance amongst the big boys- all at once tough, smart, beautiful, fragile, defensive and strong as Billie Frechette. It's true, I've always had a bit of a girl crush on Marion Cotillard because she's a dab hand at making every single role she's had an amazing performance, but that girl really holds her ground amongst some established cinematic heavies.

So all in all, good period-action film, good performances in general, good soundtrack, good fast-paced story- just don't rent it out if you get motion sickness.

Rated: 7/10

Homie Houms

The Losers

This is another leave your brain at in the cinema car park. Based on a comic series by the same name it tells the story of a group of elite soldiers who have been double crossed by a shady CIA character called Max, played by Jason Patric (who I last saw in Speed 2: Cruise Control).

Don't get me wrong I love action movies but this one might as well be the A Team with an added bonus of a Mexican guy. Hannibal... sorry Clay (Jeffery Dean Morgan) is the boss who falls for Zoe Saldana and is their ticket to freedom but whose father was killed by Clay, Classic Romeo and Juliet. The other characters are typical as well you have the geek, the sniper, the second in command and the transport and heavy weapons guy who likes to think of himself as Blagyver (Black MacGyver).

The biggest let down of the whole film besides the plot is the use of a bomb that can destroy landmasses. They didn't use this to its full potential; it was show ripping apart a small island and then not used again which I thought was a shame.
Also shooting people with tranquilisers was a waste of time in the movie, if these guys were so badass why they didn’t just kill them. They did have a perfectly good sniper with them.

Don’t get me wrong it was entertaining in bits like when a nod by Patric’s character Max is misunderstood and a random Indian bomb maker gets thrown off a building instead of just getting punched.

You could also see where this whole plot was going to end up about 15 minutes into the film. Max gets away while his second in command is killed by crashing into the turbine of a private jet. While one of Clays former team mates turns against them because he is tired of being on the run but is also coincidently killed by the same private jet along with 1 Billion dollars.

Verdict: lots of explosion, some humour, and good for an night of light entertainment or if theres is nothing else on to watch

Rating: 5/10

Brij

Robin Hood- no good!

From the fingers of me Homie


I never thought I'd say that I felt a longing for Kevin Costner's Prince of Thieves that didn't even bother to set up the English myth with a British accent...especially as I'm not the biggest Costner advocate, but Ridley Scott's Robin Hood left me with a taste for some of that 90's cheese and campery.

After Gladiator, one would have hoped that Ridley Scott would have been able to make a good job of creating an epic journey- in fact, you'd think the legend of Robin Hood would save half the trouble as an already well-established myth. But perhaps that was half the problem: how do you put your own stamp on such a prolifically portrayed story?

Scott sets up the story for a gritty, realistic tone- Russell Crowe's Robin is a mere common archer in the English army and Cate Blanchett's Marian is a mud spattered Lady-cum-farmer. The landscape is very grey, brown and English- but this was something that you started to miss throughout the film. There was no vibrancy, no life pulsating out of the film as there was in the rich palette that Gladiator gave us.

Another issue was the fact that the realism was spoiled by accents that were completely unbelievable. Blanchett swayed from received pronounciation to Lancashire lass, Crowe was a melting pot of Brummie, generic Northern and Scottish, whilst it took a bland sheep shagging joke for me to realise that Will Scarlett was supposed to be Welsh. The suspension of belief that was necessary to be transported to a realistic depiction of medieval England was broken the minute that someone opened their mouth.

Overall, the whole film felt as if the Editor and Director had spent most of post-production arguing or being confused. You never spent enough time with any one character to really care that they died/fell in love/had justice served. The scope was too big and perhaps would have fared better as a television series that could have fully plunged into the depths of all the factors in the script.

Every element in the film felt half-arsed and reeked of complacency with a massive pay check behind it. Marian and Robin's love story is usually up there with all the old romances, and yet Crowe and Blanchett's on- screen relationship was as passionate as a wet fish in the face. And as the big baddy of the film, Mark Strong was not given enough face time to make me care.

Apathy kills any creative work more than invoking the strength of hate or dislike. And trust me, this Robin Hood brings on apathy in spades.

I'll leave it on this note- it is what it is, and it is an absolute waste of time. If you want a fix of the Hoodster, I'd go with Costner, Sean Connery, Errol Flynn, Disney, Mel Brooks or even the BBC's recent televisual escapades any day.

A rather limp 2/10

Prince of Persia

Reviewed by BELL

Hmmm.... I don't really know where to start.

Definitely a 'leave your brain at the door' film. In fact, you should leave your body at the door also and save yourself the price of the ticket. Then using the money you saved buy a small bottle of vodka, drink it in one, smash the bottle and cut yourself for even THINKING about going to watch this trash.

Aside from the laborious storytelling that I presume is supposed to be an interesting plot it looks quite tasty at times. However I can't help but think an Assassin's Creed movie would kick the sh*t out of Prince of Persia.

Also, does no one else think that despite being set in the time of the Persian Empire, and because of the set location that this film f*cks up on not only time, (which judging by the theme of the entire flick you'd think they'd at least focus on keeping correct), but also messes up geographically as the LEAD CHARACTERS ARE ALL WHITE! Surely they should look just like all the extras in the film... Arabian? Damn, could have at least given Gyllenhaal a tan.

The fact that the Americans terrible attempt at a British accent doesn't help suck you into the magic either, way to go Walt...

Lastly, the dialogue was so poor at times, I could have eaten a dictionary and deposited a better conversation in my toilet... And it WOULD HAVE BEEN FREE!

Still I could have walked out but stayed to watch the whole thing as one thing Prince of Persia preaches is correct, how beautiful Gemma Arterton is... Although I don't know why... She's kind of like a pretty frog, you'd kiss it, but definitely wipe your mouth afterwards.

If you have to go and see this, at least go IMAX. That way when you get bored, (and you will get bored), you can gain some pleasure from crossing your eyes and going dizzy.

Bell - 5/10